Posted on Leave a comment

What happens in families when winning is too important?

Guest blog when winning is too important

Winning in families can be defined in many different ways. For some, just getting through the day is a win, but many parents see winning as the recognition and glory that comes from the certificates, medals, trophies and accolades that result from being the best in class at something. This might be in an academic or sporting context, or in the arts or one of the many other recreational activities our children participate in.

A healthy dose of a winning mentality in families is good if it incentivises effort, focus and motivation. Sometimes pressure can be a catalyst for improvement, and a bit of natural adrenalin is a good thing; after all, that is how we are wired as humans. But what happens when this spins out of control and winning is too important?

As a parent who has experienced being in the highly competitive environment of elite sport, I have seen first-hand how families can fall on the wrong side of the winning mentality. Sport can bring out the best and the worst in parents, and many of the same issues translate into the much broader context of family life. Worryingly, some parents can see making packed lunches as competitive!

Why, as a culture, have we become so obsessed with winning?

Often, it’s becausewe are craving certaintyfor our children. We are anxious for them to succeed in a competitive world. How do we know they are going to ‘make it’? How do we know they are good enough to pass their exams or get selected for a team? What if they fail?

We want to know our children will have a happy, healthy and successful future, so we look for things to reassure us and give us confidence that they are on the right path. This generally involves benchmarking them academically, physically or emotionally against their peers. ‘Comparisonitis’ is a scourge of modern society, exacerbated by the nation’s obsession with social media, which permeates into our conscious and unconscious mind. We look at our own world through the filter of other people’s images and information about their seemingly amazing lives. It’s very easy to see our children’s success or failure as a reflection of who we are or what we are lacking in compared to others.

We have also developed an impatient culture where we are not prepared to wait for anything, and this also spills over into family life. We are impatient for results and unwilling to accept that along our child’s developmental journey sometimes making learnings and making gains takes time. Children should be celebrated when they begin something new. No one starts off being amazing at anything. It may sound counter-intuitive, but good things often develop from making it through tough times, and bad things can develop from too much pleasure too soon.

What happens to parents when winning is too important?

When the pressure of winning or the need to see our children succeed builds, we can start to lose our natural perspective about the things that really matter. We might start to get over-critical of our children or of ourselves, or maybe if we see small signs of progress, we begin to believe our children are going to be super-stars, irrespective of the reality of what they are really capable of.

The weight of expectation can weigh heavily on a young child, and they will pick up on this pressure not only via what we say but in terms of how we behave around them as they pick up on non-verbal cues, such as our body language.  Before you know it, the thing they were doing for fun becomes a chore, you’re dealing with tears and tantrums, and they want to quit. Sometimes they will start to hide their true feelings as they don’t want to disappoint us or be told that how they feel is not acceptable. This is a dangerous path. Although setting the bar high can be good as it teaches children that they can do more than they think they are capable of, expecting too much and craving perfection is demoralising.

What happens in families when winning is too important?

How does a parents’ need to win impact our children?

Sometimes the need for our children to succeed comes from issues from our own past. If we unintentionally use our children to heal our emotional wounds or issues about failure in our life, then it really is becoming all about us and not about them. It may show up as over-invested behaviour on the sideline at a sporting fixture when parents argue with the ref or make their small children feel ashamed or useless. This undoes all the good that sport has to offer. Children have an inner compass just like we do, and they know when they’ve messed up. They don’t need us to tell them.

Motivated by the need for our children to max out their opportunities to develop winning ways, ‘helicopter parenting’ may take over in the form of overprotecting and controlling behaviour.   It’s an attempt to clear the path of anything that might challenge children or distract them from the ‘winning’ things we think they should focus on, and it prevents children from facing tough times or experiencing failure. It is hugely counter-productive as it deprives our children of resilience-building opportunities, which are a rich seam of character-building potential for the long term.  

Alternative definitions of ‘winning’

Winning should also be about being rewarded for consistently making an effort, trying new things, learning how to lose, being kind, respecting others, showing humility, having fun, making new friends, overcoming setbacks, being teachable, being resilient, knowing when to say no. (There are many more.)

A more positive and more rounded parental perspective around winning and losing will develop our young children into happier, healthier, more confident individuals.It is down to us as parental role models to set the tone of what winning really means by establishing a culture at home that we demonstrate through our words and our actions. Remember, children do not do what we say, they do what we do. They have been mirroring our behaviour since the day they first smiled back at us as a baby.

10 Practical tips

Focus on the right stuff

Some of the most together children I know are raised in houses that are a mess, by parents who turn up late and wear mismatched socks. When parenting life becomes overwhelming, perhaps they knew what to let go and what to put first. Kindness matters. Socks…not so much.

Be patient  

Lots of highly performing children were not always great as children develop physically and emotionally at different times. I have seen children who were timid and bottom of the class excel and achieve in their teens. (I have also seen superstar performers at 7 fade away to nothing.)

Do not assume they will want to follow in your footsteps

Children have different genes and different environmental influences. They are not you. Just because you were good at something does not mean they will be.

School doesn’t suit everyone

Accept that some children never fit into the sausage machine of school life, (my own daughter being one of them) and may excel in the real world beyond the confines of the classroom.

Take a break

Taking a holiday or just changing your environment is so important to reset your perspective when everything gets too much.

Establish boundaries

Everyone needs time to relax and just ‘be’, without the pressure of having to achieve anything.

Check in  

If your children are obsessing about highly competitive activities are they doing this for the love of the activity, for you, or for themselves?

Focus on effort not on the end result                                                                                                    

Always ensure children know you don’t think any less of them because they have failed at something. What matters is that they gave their best effort.

Build resilience

Never do anything for a child that the child can do for themselves; but don’t promote heroic individual strength of character either as they need to know you are there for them if times get tough. Expose them to as many varied opportunities to develop coping mechanisms as you can.

Use your intuition

As a parent you know your children better than anyone, and if something they are working towards doesn’t feel right and is making them unhappy then stop. Even if it works against the grain of securing their ‘winning future’ don’t worry, it will often be for the best. Be aware that our need to be certain of their future lowers our ability to put faith in our own resources and use our gut instinct. 

Conclusion

No one can predict the outcome of a child’s future and whether they will succeed or fail at anything. However hard we try, however brilliant our advice and support is as parents, however good their teachers or coaches are, and whatever they say they will guarantee, the only thing we know for sure about ‘winning’, in whatever way you define it, is nothing is certain. So you might as well relax about it.

All we can do is create the optimum conditions and environment under which our children can flourish. Focus on getting the basics right – quality nutrition and regular hydration, love and support with a focus on fun, a good routine and a well organized environment at home. That is winning.

Posted on Leave a comment

5 ways to maintain some Christmas Calm

Vicky Haig Hypnotherapy guest blog with 5 tips to find some Christmas calm

As we head quickly into Christmas, it’s easy to become swept up in the need to provide a perfect Christmas for those around us. We are bombarded with images of elaborate elf antics, picture-perfect Santa visits, magazine-worthy Christmas trees, matching pjs, the best presents and a list of Christmas traditions to enact.

While there is nothing wrong with finding joy in any of these activities and moments, they can easily add to our stress levels and impact our well-being in the run-up to Christmas. Here’s 5 ways to help maintain some calm and find the joy again.

1. Recognise when you are in comparison mode.

Naturally, we are interested in what’s going on around us and what others are doing. It’s in our nature to feel the need to fit in so we can feel more drawn to following what others are doing. However, we are often looking at ‘the best bits’ snippets of people’s lives and trying to recreate them, then when we bump into the normal struggles of life, we can be left feeling like we don’t quite match up. So take a moment to recognise when you are comparing your every day to someone’s best moment, then switch your focus to the best moment for you that day.

2. Take time out.

It can feel counter-intuitive to take time out when we are busy, but we need breaks. Our brains need downtime; however, the brain isn’t actually resting in downtime. When we allow our brain time to wander its actually really busy organising, sorting and often connecting the dots, it needs time to do this without us consciously giving it more tasks. So go for a walk, take a shower, have a cuppa, read a few pages of a book, find the things you can do even if it’s just for a few minutes to give your brain a break.

3. Write a list.

Every time something pops into your head that needs to be done write it down on a list. When it’s wrote down it’s easier to organise and prioritise it. When we are trying to hold everything in our brains, we struggle to prioritise and decide on its importance – everything starts to feel ‘most important’. So, write it down and then pick the thing that needs to be done first.

4. Move your body.

We are designed to move, but modern living often takes away natural opportunities to move our bodies (online shopping, electrical appliances, cars). So we have to be intentional in making sure we are moving and exercising our bodies everyday. Find the ways that work for you and try to build them in everyday, until it becomes a habit like brushing our teeth.

5. Sleep.

It’s easy for our sleep to be impacted in the run up to Christmas, but try to keep the boundaries around it. Build in good sleep habits like winding down for bed (devices off, warm baths, cool rooms etc). Its particularly important in the winter to try to get out in the daylight as soon as you can in a morning. It helps set our natural rhythms and sleep patterns.

Remember to bring it back to what you and those around you need. We are all so different and it’s ok to focus on what works best for us, I hope these tips allow you to find some calm in this period and if you’d like an extra boost head over to: https://www.vickyhaig.co.uk/try-relaxation/ where you can listen to my relaxation track for free, just make sure you are in a quiet calm place where you’re not having to do anything else, but relax.

Posted on Leave a comment

How are you going to look after yourself this summer?

Guest blog from Natalie McCoy at Urban Sole Holistics - look after yourself.

So with the schools breaking up for the summer holidays, how will you make time for yourself and protect your well-being so you don’t get burnout? You don’t want to be harassed and stressed when the children return to school.

Many of us will be trying to plan the summer holidays down to a T to ensure that they run smoothly and without arguments or the usual “I’m bored, Mommy!” Well, this is definitely what happens in our house, and those of us with children have to keep the children entertained. This sometimes, for many, is their main priority, and they forget to think about themselves.

Well, there are several ways that you can incorporate well-being into your daily routine and for it not to interfere with the summer holidays themselves.

Balance family time with solo activities

Why not connect with nature and go on a family walk where all of you are getting exercise, and the endorphins are increased to allow you to feel mentally and physically better?

Set your alarm slightly earlier and make time to meditate to set you up for the day. Go into your day with clear intentions, and this will allow you to be more focused and refreshed.

Once a day, why not do a mindfulness practice with your family, and get them to focus on the here and now? Get them to look at a picture and really reflect on what is happening just in that moment. 

Be prepared

Remember, when planning for the summer, make sure to schedule you time in for yourself and don’t forget your own well-being. Make time for yourself by doing something solely for you, go with for a coffee, a walk, or even booking a treatment as a treat. 

Preparing healthy meals over the summer and sometimes meal prepping can be a godsend to stopping any of those emergency visits to the supermarkets when everyone is hangry. 

If you’re not feeling 100% in yourself, you will struggle to look after the ones you need to, and subsequently, you will end up exhausted. 

So the time is now for you to plan and prep to keep your sanity in check. 

Natalie McCoy teaching you how to look after yourself.

If you would like to learn more, then please follow my links below.

Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/urbansoulholistictherapySolihull

Instagram – https://www.Instagram.com/UrbanSoulHolisticTherapy

Website – https://www.urbansoulholistictherapy.co.uk

Posted on Leave a comment

The Benefits of Using an Independent Travel Agent

Guest blog from Independent Travel Agent Lynne Page

Why should you use a travel agent when you can book everything so easily yourself online?

I can tell you several reasons why!

An Independent Travel Agent can help you find your ideal holiday

Using an Independent Travel Agent is a valuable resource and can save you so much time, and we all know how precious our time is.

We are experts in our field, can give you personal recommendations due to being well-travelled, and can help you with unexpected situations should they arise.

When you are looking for a holiday, it can be overwhelming as there are so many choices out there, and you may not know where to start. If you like to travel but spend all day at a computer, the last thing you are going to want to do is spend hours trawling the internet trying to find the best deal. The thing I hear the most from my clients is, “ I hate looking for holidays! “

This is where I come in. I can do all the research for you and find hotels and attractions that suit your budget and taste. I can find deals from my many suppliers that are only available to people in the travel industry. I am ABTA and ATOL protected, and you can check my reviews on Google, Facebook and LinkedIn.

My service is personal and flexible

I am a home-based travel agent, and I like to be accessible and personable. I like to build a relationship with my clients. You choose how you would like to communicate with me, whether by email, phone, WhatsApp or meeting locally for a coffee and a chat.

I don’t charge a fee; I earn commission directly from our travel partners upon booking. For example, if I booked your holiday through Jet2 or EasyJet, they would pay me a commission. You would have paid exactly the same as if you had booked it yourself online, but you have me for support. And you are supporting a small business.

I look after my clients before, during and after the trip. I can check-in for you and print your boarding passes, or you can do this yourself if you prefer. I can recommend places to visit or maybe avoid. If there are any changes to your flights or itinerary, I will be able to support you with this.

Whether it’s a family holiday to Greece or a solo tour of India, I will be able to help.

How you can get started

Before contacting your travel agent, it would be a good idea to have some information ready to give them. An idea of where you would like to go, a maximum flight time, and the airports you are willing to travel from? How many nights would you like to stay, and on what board basis? Do you want to be near a beach and local amenities, or are you happy sitting by the pool with a book and a cocktail? Are you willing to pay extra for a sea view and/or a private transfer? What is the minimum star rating you want your hotel to be? The most crucial piece of information is your budget. This is key as everyone’s idea of a ‘bargain’ is different, and it needs to be realistic to avoid disappointment.

So the next time you are thinking about booking your holiday, please consider using an Independent Travel Agent.

Lynne Page - independent travel agent

Find out more:

https://www.lynnepagetravel.co.uk

https://www.facebook.com/LynnePTravel

https://www.linkedin.com/in/lynnepagetravel

email: lynne@theholidayvillage.co.uk

Posted on Leave a comment

How you can batch-create content

Actual footage of me batch creating content
Image by Julie Grant Photography

“Why should I batch-create content?” I hear you cry. The simple answer is that it’ll save you a whole load of time. That’s a massive win when your business is busy, or you want to take some time off.

So, here’s how you can batch-create content for your business, along with a few other reasons why it’s a great idea.

Pick a theme

Picking a theme for each month’s marketing means that all your content can refer back to the same thing. You don’t have to wrack your brains coming up with new stuff for every post, so it saves you time. It also helps your audience understand what you do because they see you mention the same thing each time.

Choose a theme that relates to a particular service or your customer’s needs, for example, helping them get ready for the summer holidays.

Create a plan

After you’ve chosen your theme for the month, start planning how you’ll cover it. For example, I have a few themed posts that I do every month, such as quick tips, buzzwords and testimonials, and I supplement them with other ideas based on my theme.

I plan how many posts I need throughout the month and jot down ideas next to dates in my planner. Doing it this way helps me to see what I’m going to post and when, so I don’t panic and share something random because I haven’t posted in a while.

Write one (or two) blog posts

When I batch-create content, I always start with blog posts. They’re big pieces of content that cover a few different points. Depending on the length of each post, they can help your audience to understand a subject in depth or give them a quick overview. They can talk people through a detailed process or link to other useful resources.

Planning your blog posts will give you a good idea of what your audience needs to know. Then, you can reuse them in different ways, including breaking them down into individual social media posts. This brings me to my next point…

Squeeze all the juice out of your content

No one will see everything when you use social media for your marketing. This means you can share the same point, or a variation, more than once. I wish I’d come up with the phrase ‘squeeze the juice out of your content’, but I didn’t. It was Clare Mitchell of The Girls Mean Business.

Anyway, it illustrates the point perfectly. When you write a piece of content, write several posts that share the same thing in different ways. Edit each paragraph or your blog post so it works on its own. Cut and paste a tip onto a graphic or use it as a video script.

Schedule your posts

Finally, when you’ve created your content, schedule it so it goes out without you needing to get involved. You can spend an hour scheduling everything for the coming month and then relax knowing it’s all sorted.

If you use Facebook and Instagram, you can schedule posts, Reels, and Stories using Meta Business Suite and LinkedIn have introduced native scheduling too. Of course, you can also use a third-party scheduler if you prefer.

Do you want to stop creating your own marketing content? I can help with that and even help you batch-create your posts. If you’d like a chat to find out how it works, you can book a call here.

You can also sign up to receive monthly emails packed with useful content writing and marketing tips using the form below.

Posted on Leave a comment

Your menopause and the butterfly effect

Guest blog - Mairi Taylor - menopause rock star

We know that for a caterpillar to transform into a butterfly they have to allow themselves to turn in to the most glorious goop where their imaginal cells – I always thought they were called “the magical cells” – recreate the butterfly the caterpillar was always destined to be.

If anyone tries to hurry the process or help the delicate butterfly emerge from their cocoon too early their lives are shortened & they don’t get to live their full glorious next phase of life.

What if your menopause transition is your glorious gloopy phase?

A full breakdown of the woman you are in order to become the woman you are meant to be in this next chapter of your life? This is a true “unbecoming” as you have to allow yourself time to be the gloopy mess, a mess where everything you thought you were is allowed to disintegrate & you recreate a new glorious version of yourself.

This time can be confusing, frustrating, irritating & downright frightening as we appear to rage against the two aspects of ourselves. For many of us we hold on so tightly to “our caterpillar” that we simply don’t allow the potential magic to happen. There can be such a sense of loss for many as society doesn’t honour our “gloopy mess” phase, or the wise wild woman we can become.We haven’t been shown how to navigate this transition in between family, work & all the other 100’s of responsibilities & commitments we face as modern women, but maybe just knowing this “mess” is all part of the phase may help your butterfly emerge just a little easier.

You can’t rush it, force it or deny it because to do so would impact the quality & vibrancy of the next phase & you would be dishonouring the woman you were & the woman you are yet to know.

What if we could all enter this phase of life knowing we need to allow time & space for the breakdowns, setting strong boundaries to protect some “chrysalis time”, the reimagining, the gloopy, sticky mess & see, hear & feel it for what it is? Knowing that by allowing it to take it’s time & simply swim in the soupy mess we will emerge as a newly formed & glorious post menopause woman who can open her wings & fly with a new sense of freedom as her next chapter takes form?

Mairi Taylor

Get in touch

If you need or support navigating your menopause / midlife transition then know you don’t have to be on your own. I can offer a range of services and a support network of resources and people to help you navigate.

www.mairitaylor.com

https://www.instagram.com/mairitaylor_menopause_rockstar/

Posted on Leave a comment

TRY STARTING THE NEW YEAR WITH A SANKALPA!

Mid-January: The time when traditionally, many of us have made New Year Resolutions to lose weight, get fitter, stop smoking or have a ‘dry’ January!  By now, we’ve often ‘fallen off the wagon’ or decided categorically not to bother!

I don’t know about you, but personally, just the thought of the word ‘diet’ makes me want to reach for the biscuit tin! Or search for that leftover box of mince pies!

The question is, why do we feel the pressure to make a New Year’s Resolution?

Apparently, it’s all to do with the Babylonians!   In ancient times, the Babylonians would make promises to the gods in the hope that they would earn good favour in the coming year.  Thousands of years on, this worldwide tradition has continued into to 21st Century.  Incredible!

New Year resolutions may work for some people, but for me, it’s a matter of reverse psychology; as soon as I’m told not to do something, it makes me want to do it even MORE! It simply doesn’t work!

However, as a Yoga practitioner of 30 years, I prefer a much more balanced approach, which absolutely works for me.  It’s also something I use throughout the year, not just for January.

This approach involves making a Sankalpa. 

Sankalpa is a Sanskrit term in yogic philosophy that refers to a heartfelt desire, an intention to do something.  It tends to be an affirmation and comes from deep within.  It’s slightly different to a resolution because unlike a personal goal to achieve something, a Sankalpa is a short positive affirmation or declaration such as “ I am happy and healthy” rather than “ I want to find happiness and get fitter”. 

Examples of a Sankalpa may be:

“I AM healthy and strong.”

“I AM at peace within.”

“I AM enough.”

“I AM loving and kind.”

“ I AM happy and confident in all I do.”

New Year image explaining a Sankalpa.

The Sankalpa is a yogic tool we regularly use to help us focus on our innermost desires; it enables us to use personal power to bring our inner beliefs to fruition.

During Yoga Nidra, a state of deep relaxation or yogic sleep is when the Sankalpa is most resonant.  It is believed that when the mind is relaxed, the Sankalpa can be absorbed by the subconscious.

Furthermore, in Yoga, we believe that whatever your Sankalpa is in life, it is sure to come true!

Maybe you’d like to try making your Sankalpa during a Yin and Nidra class?

To find out more and how Jane can help guide you in your Yoga journey, please take a peek at www.hathayogawithjane.com.

Jane Hathaway is an award-winning, Experienced Yoga Teacher (EYT) and Yoga Alliance Professional (YAP). She specialises in Trauma Resilience Embodied Yoga (TREY), Hatha and Yin Yoga and Pranayama.

Posted on 2 Comments

What could working with a VA do for your business?

Guest blog - working with a VA

As a VA I offer admin and bookkeeping support but what does that mean for you? All my clients need different support from me because no two clients are the same and every client’s business is different therefore every client needs different support. What could working with a VA like me mean for your business and how can I explain it?

What are your strengths?

Everyone has weaknesses and strengths including me, I have a client who thrives on her To-Do List and religiously ticks things off this keeps her on track, helps her strive towards her goals and improves productivity

Another client does write a To-Do List but never really gets round to ticking things off, however, she thrives on her financial goal that we set and this keeps her on track and wants it to be up to date at all times this gives her the motivation and determination to reach her goal

Some business owners know exactly what money is coming in and also what money is going out so they have a good idea of the basic income needed to keep their business afloat. unfortunately, there are others who have absolutely no idea what money is coming into the business or how much money is going out. Some think because they’re so busy being busy that that means that they must be making a lot of money sadly this is the reason a lot of small businesses fail.

So how do I work with my clients?

I get to know my client and understand their business

I get to know what they are struggling with, what their weaknesses are and the problems they are struggling with, and we talk about how I can help resolve these.

More importantly, how can they use their time more wisely and what tasks can I do that give that client back the time to actually do the business and what they have chosen to do, most business owners are quite capable of doing their paperwork, but it is time consuming and uses up time and energy when they could actually be earning an income  

I offer accountability by working as a team, setting up a plan and goals.

I help them set up a structure that works for them encouraging habits and routine

I will tell them what I need from them in order for them to stay on track and grow and what I need in order for me to support them

I sometimes pull my “really” face just roll my eyes and say excuse me but where is ABC that I need from you?  Laughter can help loads too, running a business is tough and demanding and sometimes clients just need that support to lighten the mood as well as the load.

If you're working with a VA have you ever seen this expression?
This is my ‘really’ face!

Working together like this builds trust and good working relationships make growing the business achievable and helps your work-life balance to return.

What do I get out of it?

For me what do I achieve?  I do work I enjoy, seeing my clients happier, less stressed and having family and leisure time back brings me joy. I see their business growing and a more sustainable solid cash flow allowing them to enjoy the success of their hard work.

I know that I’m doing my role the best I can.This makes all the effort and hard work worthwhile.

What could a VA do for you? Get in touch and let’s find out!

Kirsty’s note

Ann Hunt is a fabulous VA; I should know, she manages to keep me organised and that’s no mean feat! She lives and works in Leicestershire.

You can find out more about Ann and her services by visiting her website.

Posted on Leave a comment

Is your body image holding you back?

How many of you have suffered from body image issues? *hands go up*

I certainly have and since starting my Sparrowlegs business, it has become apparent to me how many of us women in business have struggled with the image in the mirror.  Did you know that your body image could be holding you back in your business? Body image is what we think and feel about the way that we look and not just simply what people see. So, how can it get in the way of your greatness? In the way of you showing up and being successful (and a reminder here that you get to choose what success looks like for you, it’s not one size fits all and I really didn’t intend that pun!)

Is negative body image holding you back?

So, firstly, negative body image LIMITS you. Believing you aren’t ‘beautiful’ enough (what defines beauty anyway?!) you aren’t slim enough; your skin isn’t clear enough, to be the person you want to be. We are subjected to a constant barrage of images and inferred expectations of a construed idea of what ‘beautiful’ is and sometimes we can’t see past it. These thoughts limit you; you might not choose a certain career path or say “yes” to opportunities because you believe that isn’t a choice for people who look like you. You may not progress your business because the image you have of yourself holds you back. Sometimes we think “when I’m slimmer I’ll succeed” or “when I look better, I can work on my business” – These are just limiting beliefs.

Secondly, feeling negative about the way you appear may stop you from taking risks, and from being brave. That’s not to say that I don’t have days where I look in the mirror and struggle with what I see BUT through the work that I’m doing I’ve learned how to manage those feelings better. Your body image, if negative, can keep you in your comfort zone. It can keep you from doing your lives on social media, from sharing the photos and even from turning up to meetings. We all know though, that forming true connections is a way to build our business, being relatable and vulnerable. That all starts with showing up as our true selves.

Lastly, having a negative body image makes you more likely to compare yourself with others. You can start to believe that others are more successful because they look a certain way. That’s not the case though, those that are successful (and to reiterate – success looks different for us all,) don’t limit themselves; they take the risks, and they stay on their own path without comparing. Another person’s beauty doesn’t make us less beautiful – this we MUST remember!

What can you do about it?

So, I hear you asking, what can you do to change things?

Surround yourself with the people who like and love you for who you truly are. Talk to them and you will realise that everybody has worries and insecurities. We all struggle with negative body image at times.

Support your body image by taking care of your body. That can look different for each one of you but don’t underestimate how much self-care can make you feel good about yourself. Treat yourself with kindness, and speak to yourself kindly. If you wouldn’t say it to a friend don’t say it to yourself.

Lastly, be you! People love to see the real you. Don’t let what you look like hold you back. Some people will love you and others won’t (their loss obviously!) Just remember your purpose and the right people will surround you

Now go, shine your light and follow your dreams and passions……

My links

Facebook Group:     www.facebook.com/groups/sparrowlegs

Instagram                 www.instagram.com/miss_sparrowlegs

Website                     www.sparrowlegs.com

Email                         anupa@sparrowlegs.com

Posted on Leave a comment

The power of letting things slide

A woman on a balcony letting things slide.

When I first started my business, one of the main reasons was the flexibility it gave me. When I was a solicitor there was a flexi-time policy and I changed to part-time working to give me more time with the kids but I was still basically working a 9-5. I couldn’t take an afternoon off on a whim or disappear early because it was sports day at school. Flexibility had to be planned. I was able to plan and prioritise my work but I wasn’t high enough up the food chain to decide that some things weren’t essential. Still, as a business owner, it’s taken me a while to truly embrace letting things slide. Here’s how it happened.

I took part in a challenge

Does anyone else feel as if we’re constantly batting away advice about the new thing we must do if we want our business to succeed? This is particularly true in marketing. There’s always something about why you need to add another social media platform or what kind of content you should be producing this week.

It used to make my head hurt. Then I did two things. I subscribed to emails from Anita Popat, who only tells you the social media stuff you need to know. Then I did a 3-day Facebook challenge with Libby Langley designed to help you make marketing decisions based on your personality and values. It taught me what I already knew. Stop listening to people who say ‘should’ and do what feels right for you.

The family holiday

Then came the Easter holidays. You know the drill. I’m a business-owning mum so the school holidays are always a balancing act. The first few days after the kids broke up were fine because I was still in work mode. I had a plan and there was work I’d promised to do. Then I went on an actual holiday. We got on a ferry and went to Holland for a long weekend. It was glorious (the weather and the place) and I realised how much I’d needed some time out. A chance to play with my kids, go swimming every day and drink lager on a weeknight. I hadn’t realised how tired I’d been. I told myself that I’d have a day off when we got back from Holland then I’d start working again.

The reframe

We got back from holiday and I didn’t get back to work. My brain didn’t want to. I read some emails but mainly I wanted to have days out with my boys before they went back to school. At first, I thought I was being lazy. I told myself I should have been working. Then I remembered that I don’t listen to people who tell me what I should do and gave myself a break. I didn’t post a single thing on social media for a whole week. The world didn’t end. No one forgot I exist. All the work that pays my bills is still getting done. Those extra few days gave me the headspace I needed to decide what was important in my life. I realised that letting things slide was the best thing I could have done.

Why am I telling you all this? It’s because sharing our stories is important. When you’re a business owner people sometimes forget you’re a human being as well. I hope that by giving you a glimpse behind the scenes I’ll encourage you to do the same. If you’d like to have a chat about it, you can book one here.